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“Against all – a non-positional attitude”: 11 typical jokes from KVN with Putin

March 9 at the First Channel showed a record of the 1/8 finals of the Major League of KVN, including, among others, Russian President Vladimir Putin and his press secretary Dmitry Peskov.

Five teams took part in the game: “Wrestlers” (Surgut), “Raisy” (Irkutsk), “Napoleon Dynamite” (Tyumen region), “Maritime Academy” (Murmansk) and “Russian road” (Armavir), which won. The team “Fighters” and “Raisa” also passed to the quarterfinals.

After the announcement of the winners, Putin stepped onto the stage and thanked the participants for “actual jokes” and talent.

When talking about KVN, talk about his longevity, relevance to those that sound, and the talent kvschshchikov, and for this KVN like millions of people. I just want to say it again. Thank you so much.

Vladimir Putin
the president

Most jokes of 1/8 of KVN were devoted to Putin, elections and other topical topics.  most striking examples.

If anyone does not believe, I really became a deputy of the Murmansk regional Duma. Here is the badge, here’s the certificate, here’s the shaking knees before Vladimir Vladimirovich. Yes, Vladimir Vladimirovich, I was fat before the parliamentary elections.

the Maritime Academy team

Putin and Medvedev in the elevator:

Medvedev: Hello, Vladimir Vladimirovich.

Putin: Zdarova, Dmitry Anatolyevich.

Medvedev: What’s yours?

Vladimir Putin: I’m on the fourth.

Medvedev: Maybe I’m better at second?

Vladimir Putin: No, I’d rather be on the fourth.

team “Napoleon Dynamite”

Why did we return to the KVN? Because when medals are given here, no one will ever take them back.

the team “Fighters”
[A boy of about six appears on the stage]

– Boy: Wait, wait!

– Mom: Egorka, son, why did you come out?

– Boy: Why did not you warn me that there is a presidential candidate in the hall?

– Mom: Egorka, well, what do you care, you’re still very young, you will not have to vote for him.

– Boy: We’ll see – we’ll see.

team “Raisa”
[According to the scenario, one of the participants called my mom on Skype]

– Mom: Vladimir Vladimirovich, you take our girls even in the quarterfinals.

– Participant: Mom, he does not decide anything here.

– Mom: Do you play in what country in the KVN?

team “Raisa”
[A cop enters the stage]

– A policeman: Yura, park where you want, only the first two letters are branded. Come on, no one will know! […]

– The policeman: You advise me, I’m here with the edge of my ear I heard that they will give me a bribe with marked bills.

– Participant: Uncle Pash, tagged!

– A policeman: Six million!

– Participant: Uncle Pash, look who is sitting in the hall!

– Police officer: [whispering] Che, seriously the president?

– Participant: Uncle Pash, but speak normally, everyone hears you.

– A policeman: Yes, I can not, I have a stroke, Yura, call an ambulance!

the command “Russian road”

It is noticed: the people who are now sitting next to Vladimir Vladimirovich begin to laugh a few seconds later than Vladimir Vladimirovich.

the Maritime Academy team

American hackers decided to intervene in the presidential elections in Russia, but so far they can not stupidly register on the site of the State Service.

team “Napoleon Dynamite”

Dear newlyweds, 18.03.18 – a very beautiful date, in order to finally fix the signatures of their relationship with their chosen one. Come to the polls!

team “Napoleon Dynamite”

At the meeting of the State Duma, someone brought seeds, and the law was adopted only in the seventeenth reading.

the team “Fighters”
[On stage play based on “Notre Dame de Paris”, Esmeralda grabs the guard]

” Esmeralda: Quasimodo, kill the guards!”

– Quasimodo: But I do not want to fight against everyone.

– Esmeralda: Why?

– Quasimodo: Because “against all” is some kind of non-positional attitude.

team “Napoleon Dynamite”


I want to say, I was sitting and indulging in memories, because in 2004 there was a similar situation, I also played in 1/8, and our team then won, and Vladimir Vladimirovich also won. And now 14 years have passed and who will win in 1/8.

Semyon Slepakov
a member of the jury of KVN
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