Jokes

Funny statuses for Wednesday, November 13 2013

Not knowing the bottom, do not poke your nose into the water – keep love, prices freedom. ******

Nutritionist said there is only boiled food … Now learn to cook barbecue. ******

Husband gave flowers … Now here I think, or I am well behaved … either it’s bad … ******

Yesterday went shopping. Shopping? No! With such a salary – Zyring! ******

You want to conquer the world, start with the internal. ******

I like to sleep and sleep loves me, but the morning does not want us to be together. ******

How many kinds of “adventures” in life scattered … Well, lying and lying – overstep and go further. But no … we definitely try them on the ass to … ******

Hook – is a hit in which the full power for missing the letter “I”! ******

So you want positive experiences … That’s it for someone to put – and impressed, impressed … ******

Long time no see. You pohuzhal and vozmudel. ******

Yesterday found your soul mate. All night trying on, it turned out – not mine. ******

That’s like a lover on the balcony, so the neighbors insomnia! But when thieves … so heroic dream! ******

If we take the fact that “lucky fools” and add to that the “drunken reckless” – it turns out that on the weekends I’m immortal! ******

What am I, a hut? Then before turn around to it, you ass. I, too, in a Fairy Tale! ******

Always wondered why the men around me or not, or two. Then it hit me – the trouble never comes alone! ******

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Worse than a bull in a china shop, can only be a hedgehog at the factory of condoms! ******

I always do everything on purpose. Now, if not more foolish … ******

Feng shui – is when the refrigerator is standing next to a computer. ******

And do not shoot me in the eyes married … ******

Urgently need a fresh batch of positive emotions. It is desirable to double. Better even triple. You can with ice and lemon! ******

I hate adulthood. Here’s a kid I wanted to be a mermaid, go to the moon, make a pony, and now of my dreams – sleep, eat and live paycheck to … ******

Internet – is the freedom to hide her face behind the avatar, the name behind the nickname, and thoughts for the status. This is freedom from yourself. ******

Whoever met on your life path – Thank him for taking part in your destiny … Whether it was – episode … Or – for a lifetime … No man comes to life another chance … THANK YOU ALL! One of fairy tale … Others for a shake. ******

Patience – a great quality, but life is too short to tolerate for long. ******

From personal experience. If, someday, you’ll see falling from the window sill cactus, do not catch it! Let the bitch, falling … ******

A woman to love, like a cat … caress, cuddle and be glad that all came home! ******

Cute! I’m sorry that we so often get in fights out of nowhere because you’re a moron. ******

When a woman is causing problems – this is normal, not normal when she solves them. ******

The youngest place on the body – pop. There’s always a childhood. ******

Brains – great “brine” a love hangover. ******

Home sign of spring: a “guest” on page flocks pulled faces loving nationality … Thawed, probably … ******

Well, let him spit and srali … I can not live with a closed heart. I have a mental claustrophobia … ******

When I say “be yourself,” I am lost and do not know who is from me to be. ******

There is no story of more woe than chocolate and I’m fucking on a diet! ******

A slender woman – is the one for which the men go systems … ******

If your guy is not a prince, then you’re not a princess … ******

Family arguments resemble the transmission of “Nobody is forgotten, nothing is forgotten.” ******

In Brazil, there is a rule: “In no case do not trust the horse with purple eyebrows” … Now what to do? Who to trust? ******

See pages in contact – like interesting people, stupid. And then look in record, “Boombox and Assa – Tell me how to live.” Well well, your mother, and … ******

God, what went you give me a normal guy! .. With the money! .. I did not ask to lower the price of gasoline … ******

Over time, you realize that the most valuable thing in your apartment – it’s not money, not jewelry and household appliances, and information on the screw! ******

Ever since I learned to drive, I was more careful crossing the road … ******

Women – this is not the weaker sex, the weaker sex – is rotten boards. ******

Your misfortune is that I am not your happiness! ******

As long as I’m not married, I can do whatever I want! And when I get married, then what I want to do more and my husband! ******

Women’s logic is created in order to ofigela male psyche! ******

A man should be as expensive cognac – inaccessible and inconvenient for everyone. His strength and flavor should be aware of the unit if they know it to taste many, it’s not a cognac – it’s beer! ******

Ministry of Health warns, the abuse of a virtual life leads to the actual hemorrhoids. ******

The sun is shining – but not warm, warm holiday – but do not shine … ******

A well-trained conscience never bites its owner!

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