Funny statuses on Monday, 21 October 2013

Funny statuses on Monday, 21 October 2013

Ass – is not part of the body, and the event … A complete ass – it’s a life filled event! ******

If the plug falls – Baba will come if the knife – a man, but if a grenade – that fucked up! ******

Position is dedicated to all those who with the advent of the Internet has become not watch TV, just listen. ******

Foreplay – is a bottle of beer in front of a glass of vodka … ******

The more candles on the cake, the weaker dyhalki … ******

Tell me what you think, and I say what … ******

Vodka is expensive but first, and then the price will not make any difference … ******

And we have a warmer: a jacket in the apartment can not zip up. ******

He went off on a night train. Did not want to go – but got caught balls. ******

I can not teach the husband to order whenever he hides wallet to a new location! ******

It is a pity that there is the International Day of moron … Sometimes you want to congratulate some … ******

I live in three personalities: one is trying to take over the world, the second already owns the world, and the third, tired of fighting with the first 2-axis, trying to remember phone crazy. ******

The husband called me a treasure … Now I’m afraid that … bury. ******

Household chores to help relieve stress. She took a chicken, named Sergei, he was of all, all pootrezala. Village, deep in thought. And why do I need a plucked? In his soup! ******

And why are all invited me to a restaurant or to a sauna? Are they think that I’m hungry and dirty? ******

Yesterday in the pool caught some infection … This morning … barely kicked out of the apartment. ******

The nightmare that is happening to us in the alley! Yesterday took place – molested, today was – landed. Nahal! Tomorrow another go … ******

If woodpeckers know how much I have cockroaches in my head, I kapets … ******

How often you want something when someone close not. ******

In all honesty, it’s hard to hold on, that would not cuddle chest. ******

When I fall – losing weight. After the holidays, stood on the scales – I see, to be in love! Urgent! Three kilograms! ******

Last night she could not sleep, not because the windows shouting songs, and because she knew and sang along … ******

Happiness – is when you see your ex with a girl, and she SCARY! ******

Today I heard on TV that the adult lion takes 20 hours to rest every day. I knew it – I’m an adult lion! ******

Good to be bold, but scary. ******

A handsome, intelligent, generous, kind, gentle, non-drinker, do not walk … want just to be able to see. ******

If instead of “thank you for your purchase” on the bags and checks written “thank you for what you have,” happy people in the world would have been more. ******

Friendship – is not 538 friends on the site, but one friend in life, which in FIG not send him, because it will have to go there, not to worry, she will get out of there! ******

Corresponded with a guy that you like, and parallel correspondence toss friend. And every time you afraid that by mistake Send correspondence to him. ******

A friend has a girlfriend. You call her at night, tell me what’s in love, and she’s just a hoarse voice say, “Go to sleep!” and hangs up. After that, call back and say, “Open the door for me. Just quietly, I’m with the bottle.” ******

ACTION FOR GIRLS: Bring your rag to the military, and get 12 months of this guy! ******

I want my life to an unlucky streak … Black Sea, caviar, black Bentley … ******

If you do not love … do not hold … and do not play with words … and if you love … do not let go … Hold both hands. ******

Zadolbali those “who loves her mother – click Class.” Do you like my mother – go help her wash the dishes! ******

No one is obliged to anything not tied, no matter what is not suitable, and therefore free … ******

Cool, when three guys at the same time write to you, ‘Look me there – do not change! ” ******

A woman is weakest when the likes of someone, and most of all, when someone loved. ******

The men say: “Drunk girl pi.de not his mistress!” The answer is: if the drunken man to his h.yu big boss! ******

I blinded him from what was then that he became – tries .. They sent me. ******

I am Russian, but I do not like to drive fast when I try to drive it. ******

That’s why I love my husband for is the fact that he never asks, “Where was that? Who booze?” Sits there in silence … related. ******

That cute pussy lioness was your – you just need to agree with it! ******

The older I get, the younger and feel myself crazy! Yeah … feel Putney old woman out of me will not work! ******

I am responsible for those things off. ******

When you’re around, I’m mentally unstable. ******

In my stack of desire, with the match kiss you! ******

Where were you while you want? ******

Who to lend your appetite! ******

No one would have wanted me to leave an inheritance? ******

I’m not perfect, maybe in clothing. But without panties is beautiful, for sure!

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